Urnian Folk Music

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Below is the text of the popular Urnian folk song "The Magic Pot". The song instructs listeners in the correct manner of preparing tea. The tea plant and its use are regarded with almost religious significance by the inhabitants of Urn.

In recent months, given the upheaval on Urn, the song has acquired renewed popularity, and is seen as an expression of defiance in the face of the anti-tea lobby.

The Magic Pot

Now listen up people, you want stress relief?

Cos I’d like to introduce you to a magic leaf

It grows far out on a big plantation

Dried up and bagged for your delectation.

Now I understand that there’s some confusion

About how to enjoy this fine infusion

So ready the pot and lend me your ear

Cos tonight we brew up and our cares disappear.


Lapsang Souchong, and Darjeeling,

Dig the aroma for the laid-back feeling.

China, Assam and the Earl Grey

Brew up the pot and we’ll float away.


You want to make a brew that’ll get sipped

You got to go to the corner and get equipped.

Don’t get stressed cos that leads to failure

Just buy the pot and the paraphernalia.

Semi-skimmed milk, unless you take it black,

And a pack of biscuits because you’ll need a snack.

You can feel it in your bones, unless you’re shamming

And if we have scones then you know we’ll be jamming.


Lapsang Souchong, and Darjeeling,

Dig the aroma for the laid-back feeling.

China, Assam and the Earl Grey

Brew up the pot and we’ll float away.


Boil up the kettle till it’s simmering hot

When it’s bubbling you can bring up the pot

Pour the water on the tea for the percolation

Then stir it up for the good vibrations.

Whether you’re unwinding, or winning a war

Dig this for victory: add milk and pour

Breathe in the aroma, hold it deep inside

Then pass the china on the left hand side.


Lapsang Souchong, and Darjeeling,

Dig the aroma for the laid-back feeling.

China, Assam and the Earl Grey

Brew up the pot and we’ll float away.''


When I take tea, the man tries to stop me

Wants my money for his tasteless coffee

Says it wakes me up, but he talks all wrong

Cos too much caffeine makes a man babble on.

So pour out the brown in the china chalice

And if you want to ease down, just ask Alice

Brew up the cup and make it hearty

And take tea forever like the Mad Hatter’s party.